Play It Again, Satchmo
by Ursula4x
Summary: Neal, Peter, and El from Satchmo the dog's perspective. My life is too short for me not to have fun. If you are the serious kind, are homophobic, or het a phobic, avoid me.


Title: Play It Again, Satchmo

Author: Ursula

Rating: rating: PG-13

Genre and/or Pairing: Neal Caffrey and Peter and Elizabeth Burke

Notes: Anthropomorphic, but I live with four rescued dogs and Neal in Siberian Husky puppy form

Warnings: Schmoop Alert, minor spoilers for Episode One

Summary: Satchmo, Peter and Elizabeth's dog ponders the new person

Play It Again, Satchmo

At first, I thought Master had brought home a puppy for me to play with or maybe a present for Mistress. He smells good. He smells like some of that sweet stuff that mistress puts on herself. I like to taste that, but she orders me off. The puppy just laughs when I lick the good smell off him, gets down to my level, and tousles my ears just right.

I didn't even bark at him when Mistress let him in because I could smell Master all over him.

He is a clever human puppy. He knows just where to scratch, just under my ear, toward my neck and the other spot just above my tail. Ummmmmmm. That feels so good. Don't stop.

Master comes in and makes growling sounds. Master is the alpha, but Mistress is the alpha bitch. When I was a puppy myself, I tried to see if I could be the boss dog, but they put me in my place, which is a pretty good place. I like being a good dog and they like being good masters. Although if I was Master, I would just mount the puppy, put him where he belongs in the pack.

Master takes the puppy with him when he goes. I'm sad because Master spends too much time out doing whatever humans do. Mistress is the better hunter. She comes home with food. Master hardly ever does. Sometimes, Mistress tells him to bring back milk, which I am not allowed to drink, or bread, or something. He usually forgets and she orders him back out until he gets it. I should rethink who the top dog is.

OooOooO

Talk, talk, talk. Someone scratch my ears instead of barking! I was taught as a puppy not to bark just to hear my voice. Master and Mistress are always yapping at each other except when they make those exciting sounds behind the door. I am not allowed in, but I lie at the door and sniff those interesting smells.

Being a smart dog, I know the important human words, walk, play, ball, bone, chew, food, dish, water, bed, sit, lay, out, off, heel, Satchmo, Elizabeth, and Peter. I know the Neal word now. It means a good deal for me as he brings me treats, plays with me, and even wrestles with me, laughing all his sad out.

Master and Mistress say the Neal word a lot. I don't understand why he doesn't sleep with them. I can smell he is pack. Or he could sleep with me. I would share enough of my dog bed to be his pillow if they don't think there is room in their bed.

Humans are pretty strange. If I want a bone, I take a bone unless it is in a forbidden place like the counters or sadly enough, the trash. Humans save all manner of wonderful smelling stuff and bundle it away. I smell it getting good and ripe outside, but that is also a 'no Satchmo' place.

It takes me a great deal of thought to figure out that Neal is a bone that Master wants but doesn't think he can have. I can tell that Mistress gives the Master permission to have Neal and that she might like to chew on him a little herself. He does taste very good when you lick him.

Mistress finally wins. She mostly does. Neal comes in with Master and they smell really, really good even though I can tell they both showered. I shove my head in between Neal's legs and smell the exciting scent, almost like I smell between Master and Mistress. Neal shoves me away and he smells embarrassed now. His barks are excited and he barks for a long time with Master and Mistress smiling at him.

Finally, Neal wrestles me which makes me think that whatever made him smell even more like Master is a good thing.

"Happy, happy, happy, do you know I'm happy, Satchmo?" I understand happy and Satchmo. I bring him my tug toy, the really good one that has weeks of my drool.

We play.

OooOooO

More bark and bark, this time between all three of them. Master licks both of them goodbye and swats Neal's butt. I don't get it because Master looks pleased by Neal. Why is he punishing him? Humans, I love them, but I don't get them.

Neal and Mistress go to the bedroom upstairs, but they don't want me to come with them. Oh…

I have a new chew that Neal bought me and put in my crate. I take it inside for a good munch.

More showering. Humans like that kind of water. I like the kind you can swim in, but not getting a bath. Humans are always bathing, but I can still smell all about them. I can smell that Neal and the Mistress were playing that 'no Satchmo, you can't come in' game that Mistress and Peter play. They are happy and when Peter comes home, there is a lot of licking. He must have told them to play although I don't know why he didn't join in.

OooOooO

I don't like Neal leaving. Pack doesn't sleep in different dens. He belongs here with Mistress and Master. With me.

I am a good dog, but sometimes humans just don't get it. A good dog does what is needed for his humans.

Neal gets up to leave, but he acts like I do when I don't want to go to my crate. He lingers. He stops to pet Master, to kiss Mistress. He forgets his 'if you ever chew on it, I love you, Satchmo, but you are dead' hat and goes back to get it. He kisses Master and pets Mistress as if he forgot he already did that.

Having had enough, I block the door. Neal laughs and tells me, "I have to go home."

Even Neal must know that he belongs here, because the happy word 'home' is sad when he says it. He bends down and tells me, "I'll be back tomorrow, Satchmo." He makes his voice funny and deep. "I'll be baaack."

No, you're staying.

"I've never seen him acting like this. Go with it, Neal; let's see what the problem is." Master's wise voice says.

Gently, I take Neal's sleeve and tug. He follows. Good puppy. I guide him to the stairs. His forehead wrinkles and he raises his brow. I tug again and he finally gets it, going up the stairs. I put my paw on the door to Master and Mistress's room. I don't scratch, just touch with my pads.

Neal opens the door and checks carefully as if there could be an intruder. As if I would let a 'not pack' in my den!

I goose Neal in the butt and he jumps into the room. There, mission accomplished.

Master is baring his teeth in the happy snarl. He gets it. Master is a smart dog. Good, good Master.

Neal is not being the smart puppy Master says he is. He tries to step back out of the sleeping place. Enough. Bad puppy. I angle my body and nudge him hard. He is herded toward the bed. Neal is allowed in the bed. I am not unless Master or Mistress tells me up and pats it. I push again hard and he sprawls on the bed. I look toward Master who nods.

"I think Satchmo is telling you that you are home, Neal; that you sleep here from now on. I think out of the four of us, he might be the smart one. What do you think? I think you are staying. We'll get your things tomorrow."

"But where will Mozzie sleep?"

I don't know what a Mozzie is, but he is not getting my bed!

Mission accomplished. All is right in the world and I go to find a patch of sunlight in which to nap.


End file.
